Why She Comes First Changes Everything About Sex

It’s no secret that men and women are fundamentally different.

We think differently, process emotions differently, and—unsurprisingly—we function differently when it comes to sex.

Men are generally built for efficiency: we get aroused quickly and often climax within a couple of minutes. In fact, most men ejaculate in under two minutes.

Women, on the other hand, tend to have a very different experience. Many women find it difficult to orgasm, especially the first time. It often takes concentration, relaxation, and consistent, focused stimulation.

Here’s where many men go wrong: skipping or rushing foreplay.

For a woman to get fully aroused and physically ready for orgasm, foreplay isn’t optional—it’s essential. And not just a quick minute or two, either. You should be spending at least 20 minutes on foreplay.

That might sound like a lot, but the payoff is absolutely worth it.

When you delay your own gratification and focus on her pleasure first, something interesting happens: you both win.

Once she orgasms, the pressure is off you. You can relax and enjoy the rest of the experience without worrying about performance.

And when you finally do climax, it tends to feel even better—because you’ve built up more arousal and anticipation.

So, take your time. Focus on her first. You’ll both enjoy it a whole lot more

Read the next chapter here.