Why Freud Got Female Pleasure Completely Wrong

Most people still see sex as a three-step routine:

1. Foreplay → 2. Vaginal penetration → 3. Male orgasm.

When his climax becomes the finish line, her pleasure often gets left on the sidelines—a lose-lose for everyone involved.

Back in the early 1900s, Sigmund Freud insisted that clitoral orgasms were somehow less legitimate than those achieved through intercourse. According to him, if a woman couldn’t climax from penetration alone, the problem lay with her.

We now know better. There’s nothing “wrong” with a woman who enjoys clitoral stimulation—nor is that orgasm inferior in any way. Freud’s view simply hasn’t aged well.

If you truly want to delight your partner, broaden your definition of sex. Great sex is an experience, not just a mechanical sequence that ends the moment he orgasms. Include—and savor—every erotic possibility:

• Extended foreplay: kissing, touching, teasing

• Oral sex (cunnilingus): a proven crowd-pleaser

• Hands, toys, words, and laughter: creativity counts

• Mutual respect and communication: the secret sauce

Redefining sex this way turns pleasure into a shared journey rather than a race to a single finish line. When both partners feel seen, heard, and satisfied, everybody wins.

Read the next chapter here.